The Infinite Loops: The Great Prank War
by lord Martiya
Summary: Yggdrasil, the great computer that contains all the universes, is broken, and time is Looping back indifenitely. Some people, known as Loopers, known about this... And two of them, Kaioh Michiru and Naruto Uzumaki have engaged in an all-out prank war. May the Admins have mercy of those too slow to run...


Here it is, lord Martiya, best known in the Infinite Loops for my contributions to _The Winx Club Loops_ , presenting my project. It started out as a one-shot, spurned by me having bought a small statue of Sailor Neptune and placing her where she could observe me at my computer… And then, it continued. Here it is, the Great Prank War! Enjoy.

 **1.1: The Opening Prank**

"Spill it." Orochimatu demanded when he appeared undisguised in the Forest of Death. "I know there's some kind of time travel, and with how you acted last time you HAVE to be involved."

"Naruto, dispell that disguised Shadow Clone." Sakura demanded.

"But... It's not me!"

Team 7 looked in horror as they took in that Orochimaru had started Looping... At least until Orochimaru started laughing and fell on his knees while Sailor Neptune took a picture of their faces.

"Psych." she said as she toom off "Orochimaru"'s disguise and revealed him as her partner Sailor Uranus before teleporting away.

"They pranked me..." Naruto said as he took in what had just happened. "PRANK WAR!"

Every single Awake Looper of that universe, and all un-Awake inhabitants of Konoha, felt like someone had just walked on their graves.

 **1.2: Warm-up for the Counterattack**

Michiru was sitting in chemistry lesson from Eudial, but was actually wondering what they'd do her this Loop. Maybe they would convert her car from gas to diesel, just to see how long it took her to notice... Then she ducked, and the fire-breathing mutant chicken missed the intended target and instead hit the member of the Witches 5.

"Took you long enough, Uzumaki." she said with a smile. It was on.

 **1.3: Violin vs. Ramen**

It had been an eclectic few days for Michiru, what with the exchange of pranks that she and Naruto easily dodged. After all, she was the greatest prankster in the Loops and he was her predecessor, it was only natural they knew how to dodge each others' pranks.

Now, however, it was a time for relaxing. Just another concert. So, once again, she picked up her violin Marine Cathedral, passed the bow on the strings to play the first notes... And stopped herself when she instead heard the sound of bagpipes. And Naruto, in the public, took a picture of her face.

"He touched my violin..." she hissed as she dispelled the seal on it. "You've gone too far, Uzumaki Naruto."

And with that, she played her song.

"You got her what?!" Sakura shouted when Naruto told her of the prank at a ramen stand.

"Her violin. So what?"

"Naruto, Sailor Neptune does not tolerate anyone touching her violin. She's going to hit you hard."

"So what? I'll be ready, and now guess who's the best prankster in Yggdrasil?"

With that phrase Naruto took in some ramen... And went green before spitting it.

"What the-"

"Just a little music-based spell, Naruto Uzumaki." Michiru told him from behind. "Now all ramen you eat will taste as the food you despise the most. Care to establish some boundaries for the next pranks?"

 **1.4: The Kissing Cousins Incident**

"And with this I suppose I've conclusively proved that Kaioh and Tenoh are cousins." Naruto smugly declared to the assembled students of the Mugen Gakuen as he looked at his rival prankster and her lover-after all, the violin may be out of bonds, but making her lovemaking icky for a Loop wasn't. And even if he had made it up, he had made sure to spread convincing fake evidence.

Then Michiru, grinning the same way Naruto had done as he prepared his prank, called for everyone's attention and had Haruka help her into reinterpretating the famed _V-J Day in Time Square_ , with Haruka being the nurse.

Kaolinite got a stroke then and there.

 **1.5: Naruto's Great Counterattack** **(BIOS-Pherecydes)**

"She's going to kill you for this, you realize that right?" Shikamaru questioned his friend as he peered over his shoulder at his project.

Naruto shrugged. "Probably."

"And you're not at all concerned about that?"

"Eh, I've had worse."

"What a drag. How about the fact that she's likely to come after me looking for you? Does my well-being mean anything to you?"

Naruto paused in his work, and met Shikamaru's eyes solemnly. "You're a good friend, and a loyal soldier Shikamaru. Your sacrifice will not be in vain. For when this day is over, I will once again be Yggdrasil's number one prankster. And You! You my friend, will be forever remembered as that one guy who stood bravely in the face of unfathomable horror and was promptly destroyed but managed to buy his leader an extra few seconds to escape certain doom."

"Great." Shikamaru deadpanned.

Naruto grinned widely. "That's the spirit! Now come on, I need you to stand around conspicuously doing nothing," he said, rolling his extremely intricate sealing scroll up carefully.

Sighing, Shikamaru followed his Anchor. While Naruto was by far the greatest sealing master in the multiverse, he had had more than his fair share of practice. And if Naruto's scroll did half of what he was able to make out, it would probably be worth the inevitable retribution to see history in the making. Probably.

* * *

Michiru had been having a relatively benign Loop so far. Usagi wasn't Awake at the moment, and given that she'd seen Ino setting up shop in town it was likely that Naruto was around; thus whether Usagi would Awake at all was debatable. Mentally she smirked. She was sure that Naruto had some kind of plan, but she had taken precautions. While she wasn't fool enough to think she was untouchable, she was confident that whatever he tried would be easy enough to counter or predict. Naruto may have been far older than her, but he was hardly the brightest bulb in the box after all.

That assurance lasted until approximately three seconds after she woke one morning, and found herself unusually encumbered in the chest area. The following chain of cliches and harem trope hijinks that followed her over the next hour swiftly disabused her of her certainty, her patience, and her temper. It didn't help in the slightest that trying to dispel whatever technique Naruto had used with her Deep Aqua Mirror failed spectacularly; actively exacerbating the issue in every way.

Sadly things only grew worse as the day progressed, and by the time she spotted Shikamaru sitting on a park bench staring idly at the clouds she was damn near ready to unleash a full powered Deep Submerge. Luckily for his own safety, and that of the surrounding area, Shikamaru gave in immediately.

"Troublesome. No, I don't know how he did it. No, I can't fix it. Yes, it is exactly as bad as you think it is. He borrowed one of Sakura's tricks, so it's not going to be automatically undone by the reset. No, I don't know how long it's going to last. And he said to tell you, quote 'It comes in layers. Next one is tone-deafness. After that it's a surprise. Never mess with a prank master that can alter the fundamental underpinnings of reality for fun and profit. Enjoy,' end quote. And one more thing, I'm just the messenger so please don't kill him the next time you see the real me."

With that said, 'Shikamaru' promptly lost all color and sank into the bench's shadow.

Leaving a twitching Michiru trapped in her own personal Eiken.

 **1.6: For the Future**

"Trust me, Pinkie, you don't want to get involved." Minako told the visiting prankster.

"But why? It's so funny, and-"

"Minako! I need your help!"

Minako pinched her nose. There was a reason why she had never made big pranks on Naruto, and, as she could see, Michiru had just found out.

"I already told you, I don't want to get involved in this prank war of yours beyond keeping Pinkie and the Twins out." Minako told the oceanic prankster. "Even if I appreciate your increase in talent. Mind if I take a picture? Just for Mako's use?"

"Do it, but I need you to take away this. He used one of Sakura's tricks to make it stay after the reset."

"So?"

"So you have the strongest cleansing powers after Usagi, I know you well enough to know you've stolen all of Sakura's data and then some back when she had the Syndrome, and the next part will make me tone deaf."

* * *

"Wakagi, what did enrage Minako?" Natsuna Sakurada, one of Minako's non-Looping friends, asked her assistant-victim-future lover from her desk at the police headquarters after hearing her enraged shout from the other side of Tokyo.

"No idea boss. But there's no report on Dark Agency activity, so it shouldn't be too dire."

* * *

"Don't expect me to intervene again." Minako told her fellow musician after removing the prank.

"Don't worry. I have my own plans..."

And then Michiru left with an evil laugh.

"Doesn't sound she's going to play her trump card." Pinkie noted.

"Naruto just triggered her hypercompetitive side and she forgot." Minako explained. "And that's why you should stay out: Michiru has a devious mind and about as many moral qualms as Sakura had during the worst of her Sakura Syndrome, and getting caught in the crossfire will be bad. Note to self, track down the Twins and make sure they stay out..."

"Think you're right. So, what's the next item in the list of foods to feed Beryl to convert her to good?"

 **Author notes**

 **1.1: I was sleep-deprived when I wrote that one, and we were talking about the ban on Orochimaru looping.**

 **1.2: The chicken is a homage to the folly known as _Chickenzilla_ (s/7158151). Also… Gas to diesel?! What the hell, Michiru!**

 **1.3: Don't touch the Stradivarius.**

 **1.4: You thought that too.**

 **1.5: And with this, Naruto has weaponized _Eiken_. Run, Loopers, run!**

 **1.6: Wait, Michiru has a trump card?! Now I'm worried…**


End file.
